Woozy

I must warn you first, this post is bullshit, I don't mean that my last posts were good, but at least I was not unconscious when I was writing them,
I feel so dizzy right now, light really hurt my eyes so I turned it off, do you think I would survive?
I mean mentally or maybe physically!
the last time that I had this strange feeling was about 4 years ago, I was in a crowd but really alone, rolling drunk, the last part is shameless, I used drug too, I mean I was too much drunk that someone took it under my noise...
any way it was not just because of feeling drunk and drugged, it was the begining of a lost, not just the one I loved, loosing lots of thing, there is nothing worst than feeling like a jerk,
after that I've promised myself not to be drunk even if I was alone.
you know that, when you feel that it's your last days of your life you can love anyone, I wish I could know that what's happening to me, most of the people don't like to know about their future, they would be shit scared if they know that the day that they would die, but if I knew that it would be a sigh of relief for me, really I could live much more confident.